Fear & Hope

I wrote this a few years back, heart hurting and a war going on within in order to not hurt again.  I wonder if there was a time in your life that you may have struggled in guarding your own heart?

Fear & Hope

Hope lingers

My risky, fair weathered friend

She fills me with excitement

And then flies away far into the starry night.

She beckons me to live beyond day,

            to dream,

            become fully alive,

            laugh and play.

But she offers no guarantees

No assurances again the depths of darkness

            destruction

            heart break.

Breathe in hope

Exhale fear…

Yet fear is so much easier to live with,

believe

buy into.

He guards my heart from truly living

As my soul goes into a catatonic state of “being.”

A war wages on between hope and fear…

Both risky and out of my control.

Which way do I go?

Where do I turn?

I will walk in love

And not be consumed with this inner world

            of darkness and confusion.

In hopes of others receiving your embrace,

That they would be lead to healing and wholeness of soul.

I will choose love.

I will choose peace…

That you would guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Peace that passes all understanding

Peace that you say you’ll never leave me.

Fill me with your peace.

And I will hope in you--

That this journey is a bigger story.

That you know what you’re doing.

You make all things new.

You will make rough places smooth,

You adore me,

You will hold my heart,

You know me.

I will hope in you.

I will try not to be afraid.

For you are my helper

What can mere man do to me?

Hope lingers

Fear waits…

I will not give up the fight.